Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i think i just lost a toe
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
