There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
