hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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