Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
