well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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