tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
