I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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