the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
