Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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