I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
we should paint friendship bongs
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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