"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
