Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize