Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
