check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize