He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
