it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
