you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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