I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
