She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm too high and old for this...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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