I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
