Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this just has baby written all over it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
