all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
