The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
