You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
