He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize