I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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