dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
