Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
