I must be too annoying 4 u.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize