In the future we'll all be gay
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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