Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
