i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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