There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
