Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
