she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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