Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.

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(312): View more from Illinois

it's gonna be a chat room kind of night

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(530): View more from California

I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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(702): View more from Nevada

Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

(636): View more from Missouri

anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

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(847): View more from Illinois

Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets

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(269): View more from Michigan

just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...

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