the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
