Dual....:-)
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
