screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
