just tell him i said nine months
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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