I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize