Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
