What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
