I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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