Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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