My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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