You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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