Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Non-Jews are for practice
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
there is puke in my bra ... again
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