I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
