He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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