wanna go halves on a baby?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize