Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need to wash the frat house off of me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
