She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
