So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
