Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
