I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize