Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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